viernes, 23 de agosto de 2013
How To Calm Nerves During A Conversation (My Favorite Technique)
I recently did an interview with 3 questions about short conversations, conversation, and "chemistry" for a website that gives tips for men ...
And thought I'd share my answers, and I think you'll find them quite useful :)1. Is there a specific technique that over the years has really improved your conversational skills?
Yes It's called "Breaking the Fast Forward Button"
Always experiment, the greatest frustration during the first minutes of a conversation. I felt uncomfortable and "forced". And I was constantly wondering "will want to even talk to me?"
And this is that subjects tended to stay on "safe" and "boring".
Finally most of my conversations were extinguished quickly.
I happened even with girls I already knew. For example, I was at a bar and saw a girl in one of my classes, and I approached ... SHE still could not advance the conversation beyond the "how you been? What have you been doing? Blah, blah, blah ".
I shudder at the thought of how many girls lost by letting the conversation was over too soon.
I finally reached the point where HATED even talk to a girl ... because I knew how boring it would be.
Well, one night I was at a bar with a friend. I had booked for the next morning a parachute jump, and was literally scared shitless with visions of a parachute that did not open ...
In the middle of this conversation two girls sat next to us and ordered drinks. And my friend starts to talk to one of them.
With my mind preoccupied with the parachute, was in no mood for chit-chat of "know". So simply said:"I do not mean to be rude ... but I feel like I'm shitting a Brick now. Tomorrow morning I'll jump out of a plane from a couple thousand feet ... And I need you to convince me that the parachute will open ... "
Well, I thought the girls would find rude that I completely skipped the theme of "know" ... but they seemed relieved. They were fully engaged in talking about skydiving ... and keep talking, it was a really fun conversation.
That's when I realized that you can press the "Fast Forward button."
I kept trying this technique hundreds of times. When starting a conversation just jump to a topic that would lead to better building trust and attraction. And I discovered that girls also seemed really happy to skip the small talk.
The fastest and most reliable way to calm the nerves is to develop an intention.The fear, nerves and anxiety comes from not knowing what to do.
You see, once you know what your next move, you will not have time to worry. You just do.
The problem is that most guys do not have idea of what you are supposed to do. Worse, they have no idea what the outcome they are seeking.
When you start talking to a woman ... what is your intention? Want to get your phone number? Want to get a date? You want to try to have sex with her that night?
Most guys do not know.
And this is why you start a conversation with a girl, and you're looking for a reason to escape continuously. In fact, when you say "I have to pee", you're probably happy that you take the pressure off.
It's because you were not committed to any real results.
I remember when I graduated from college. I was really unsure of what I would do with my life. So I tried with a lot of races. And quickly made me nervous about my future. Beginning to think would never make. And at the first sign of an obstacle the left.
I was nervous and quickly abandoned that career because he saw no intent behind what he was doing. I was not committed to any of those races.
Later, when I started TSB Magazine ... I was broke and had no idea how to get out ... but I knew what I wanted. I wanted to create a magazine that would help millions. So I no longer cared about my future.Since I was not worried when there was an obstacle. Just still trying to figure out what do next to get the result he wanted.
So once you discover what result you want with a girl ... just stay focused on what you will do next. And do not stop until you get that result.
Does it make sense or not?
If you get stuck on what to say next ... this course will give you a bunch of tools that can make you keep a conversation flowing.
If you understand how attraction works ... but you need a "road map" to lead you in a conversation, to keep it rolling, free of discomfort and boredom, to a natural end and climate, this course will be like this "roadmap".
If you can not take the proper mindset to flirt with women ... this course will give you some "mind tricks" to keep your mind alert and can immediately detect the mood and opportunity to insert value to the conversation. And it teaches you to become more "clever" and spontaneous.
Above all, this course is designed for the guy who knows his ability to have fun and coqueteadora conversation with a woman is the only thing preventing you from having a phone full of numbers of women waiting for the call ...
If you want to see an example of some of the things you'll learnWatch this video <== reveals amazing tricks to chat
I'll leave you with one thing: No matter how you feel intimidated by the idea of becoming a "good talker" ... Really you're closer than you think.
Once you do a handful of "tweaks" actually find that you enjoy talking to women, and start to see how easy it is to create attraction.
Make It Happen!